Be Careful With Your Criticism

By Daniel Fleet

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

In the Book of Numbers (chapter 12), we read a story about three siblings who hit a rough patch in their relationship. Moses, the leader of Israel, married a woman whom his brother, Aaron, and sister, Miriam, greatly disapproved of. 

We don't know why Aaron and Miriam were so upset with Moses' choice for a bride, but instead of dealing with their frustrations properly, they chose to criticize Moses publicly. 

There weren't just people who heard the criticism; God heard it too. Evidently, Miriam was the bigger offender in the story because the Bible says that God struck Miriam with leprosy because of her criticism of Moses. 

It's evident from this story that God is concerned with how we use our words and that criticism of others is not okay with him. 

What is criticism? Criticism happens when we use words to express our disapproval toward someone else. Some would argue that constructive or positive criticism has its rightful place in our lives, and I would agree. Sometimes, those in a position of influence must express disapproval toward those who need guidance or correction. The purpose of this type of criticism is to help. 

However, far too often, our criticism lacks guidance and correction. Our criticism of others looks more like Miriam's criticism in the story from Numbers; it only seeks to tear down and destroy. 

“Criticism never makes you look smarter or better than the person you are being critical of. Instead, it makes you look mean, selfish, and insecure. ”

The problem with criticism is that it hurts all parties involved, including you. Criticism never makes you look smarter or better than the person you are being critical of. Instead, it makes you look mean, selfish, and insecure. 

Your criticism often polarizes those who hear your critical comments of others, and you will find yourself on an island of your own making rejected by people you care about. When Miriam became a leper, they put her outside the camp and away from all others. Criticism leads to loneliness and only reinforces the bitterness and jealousy you feel in your heart. 

It should go without saying that criticism hurts those we criticize, both when they hear it and when they do not. Galatians 5:15 says, "But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another." The problem with biting and devouring is that you can't heal or return something once it's consumed. Imagine taking a bit out of an apple. You can't put it back once you take that bite, and that apple is forever damaged. Your criticism will devour your marriage, friendships, church, place of employment, family, and other relationships. 

Instead of picking people apart for what they aren't, purpose in your heart to see what people are good at and build them up with your words. 

Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." What kind of person do you want to be known as? Do you want to be known as a critic who tears others down or as an encourager and builder of hearts? 

I challenge you today to use your words to edify and bless those in your life. If you have a problem with criticism, ask the Lord for help and seek the help of godly friends. There may be underlying reasons for your criticism that need to be dealt with.